Worry

I worry about me and I worry about you
I worry about the things I say and the things I do
I worry about day and I worry about night
I worry about doing and saying the thing that are right
I worry about the stars and
I worry about the sun
I worry about work and
I worry about fun
 I worry about the birds and I worry about the bees
I worry about the plants and I worry about the trees
I worry about my age and I worry about my health
I worry about taxes and I worry about wealth
I worry about the way I write and the way I think
I Worry that what I write will really stink
But most of all
I worry that worry will drive me to drink

God Bless you Otto

Dedicated to Granny Smith and Otto

When I read "Granny Smith" on Sunday Scribblings and saw that her husband had died from a fall, I was deeply saddened.. I did not know him. I had only read Granny's blog a few times, but seeing this news seemed to affect me deeply. I felt saddened for her loss. I thought about the sorrow of losing a loved one. I know Otto would have enriched my life if I had ever known him. Granny, I send this poem to you with sadness in my heart. My heart is with you. May God bless Otto and may God be with you in your time of sorrow.

I think of you often and make no outward show, But what it means to lose you, no one will ever know You wished no one farewell, not even said good-bye, You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. You are not forgotten nor will you ever be, As long as life and memories last, I will remember thee. To some you may be forgotten, to others a part of the past, But to me who loved you dearly, your memories will always last. Nothing can be more beautiful than the memories I have of you. To me, you were someone special, God must have thought so too! If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane, I would walk all the way to Heaven, and bring you back again. unknown

Silence-Again & Again & Again

When I wrote my original version of "Silence" for "TAT" I wrote about a writer that was dejected because of a rejected book. I did not choose a gender for "The Writer" because I wanted to present something about the silence of disappointment. The disappointment happens to all writers from the very accomplished to the beginning blogger who wants to write. Bloggers are exploring their ability to write. We Bloggers want to write something really great and have the world discover us and send money. Maybe some just want to be read but you must admit it would be awesome to get a few bucks for writing. When we do not get any response for what we have written we really get disappointed. I guess having my writer commit suicide was a little drastic but I did want to make a point. Amias wrote, "Oh my, Grizz, did he have to kill him/her self? I didn't expect this ending." That comment made me think about the story again and again and again. So I rewrote the story adding gender. In the first rewrite the subject was a young girl disappointed in romance and she ended up offing herself. I thought "why am I always ending the story with suicide". I have had my share of romantic disappointments and I have never considered suicide. So I rewrote the story again opting for a male subject who was also disappointed with a bad romance. In this version I was able to end the story with hope. Here is my hope version and I simply called it "HE". If it works better for you, go ahead and change the gender. I dedicated this version to "Amias" "HE" He sat alone on the cold wet planks at the end of the pier. His legs were dangling over the edge and his bare feet almost touched he water but not quite. He wanted to feel the cold water with his feet but he did not want jump in. Well maybe he would jump or maybe he wouldn't. He really wasn't sure.what he wanted to do. The silence was eerie. The water did not move and it seemed as if the fog was a blanket someone had just taken out of the freezer. At first it shocked him but the coffee helped. He was holding the cup between his legs and using it to warm his hands. As he looked at the water it seemed to call him. It was hypnotizing him, daring him to enter the silent water and he was ready to take the dare. Why not, no one would care, especially her. She had left no doubt about that. He could still hear her saying "I'm sorry, I'm leaving, I have too". The words echoed through his head. He could still see her face. She was young and beautiful. There were tears in her brown eyes and on her freckled cheeks. Her long auburn hair was beautiful even in her sadness. He could see her standing on the water just out of his reach. He could hear her saying, "I'm sorry. I was wrong, I love you, please come home". Her beauty was drifting in the silent fog. Her tears were falling into the silent water. He could see her. He wanted her to be there but she wasn't. A fog horn echoed a low sounding wail from across the bay and nudged him back to reality. The silence of the night had been broken. The silence of the water interrupted and the cold silent fog seemed to disappear. He shivered. No, he thought, I will not give in. I will go back. I will find her. I will fight to win her back. He rose and walked silently through the lifting fog with new found hope. A silent voice urged him on.

Healing

Has your soul felt the depths of hell? Mine has Has your soul felt the urge to kill? Mine has Has your heart been ripped apart? Mine has SHE LEFT ME WITH THESE THINGS Has your manhood been neutered? Mine has Have you cried for a lost child? I have Have you been alone among thousands? I have SHE LEFT ME WITH THESE THINGS Have you fought to regain your soul? I have Have you fought the urge to kill? I have Have you fought to mend your heart? I have SHE BLESSED ME WITH THESE THINGS Have you fought to regain your manhood? I have Have you fought to keep a child? I have Have you fought to overcome loneliness? I have SHE BLESSED ME WITH THESE THINGS HAVE YOU FORGIVEN SOMEONE? I HAVE

Religion and Grizz

I grew up a semi-religious child in a very religious community. It was sort of like being a weed in the middle of a garden. Some of the flowers want you to mutate and look just like them, some want to leave you alone and some want to destroy you with religiouscide. My mom was religious but did not attend church. My dad never discussed religion, never went to church, was an alcoholic and a better father a son could not have had. I think I was lucky. I was not forced to be a good religious anything. I was allowed to find my own way. I was allowed to discover the way I wanted to live. However, I was taught all of the basic fundamentals of religion. Although my parents were not church goers, they lived and taught us the basic fundamentals of being good people. After all, what is the basic fundamentals of religion except learning the fundamentals of love and brotherhood. We were never read to from the bible. We were never told we had to read the bible. We were never officially taught the ten commandments by my parents. They just lived them. Swear in our house, especially using the lords name and you had soap for dinner. The never swore. Lying and stealing were not tolerated. I do not ever remember coveting my neighbor's wife but I am sure I coveted their children's toys. It would have been a big mistake to take them. Other Gods, Idols and graven images were not discussed either. I do not believe we even knew that there were other Gods and if some one had sold golden calves or graven Images they probably would have been tarred and feathered. The Sabbath is a different story. It was OK to go to church but not mandatory in their eyes. God could also be worshipped on a camping trip, or God would certainly understand that some had to work, chores needed to be done and of course a back yard cookout was much more fun than church. I guess what it boils down to is that my parents lived a religious existence without trying to stuff it down other's throats. They believed in the teachings of the Ten Commandments. That is how they lived. That is how they taught. That is how I grew up

Beauty

The sunset, the ocean, the colors, the sounds of nature and the winds whispering to me from the trees and over the cliffs, these are the things that are beautiful to me. In nature you can find beauty everywhere. It is there from the moment you wake until you close your eyes in the evening. The flowers in your yard, the neighbor’s trees, the hummingbirds darting around the patio are pure and unaffected by the miseries created by man. The flowers do not shoot the birds, the birds do not make fun of the squirrels and almost certainly the squirrels do not destroy the trees. They are the simple but beautiful things in our lives. Get lost in them and you will find a peace that cannot be found in any other place.

Arrrrrrrrrrrg

Arrrrrrrrrrg, shiver me timbers........I promised myself, no politics and I did it any way. I apologize to no one because s0 far no has read any of my thoughts. Oh well, at least I am able to blow off some stream. But politics, Arrrrrrrrrrrg, shiver me timbers, I may as well have named this blog Burnt Toast and forgot about the coffee. Or, maybe Burnt Coffee and Toast. I could dedicate this blog to Starbucks. More on Starbucks later. I am actually a Starbucks nut but only the coffee. I am not into Frappuccino's or Cappuccino's. In my opinion they are the slickest way anyone has ever invented to steal your money.

Political Whores

Washington politicians and for what it is worth, all politicians are a bunch of whores. Souter proves it. He has no values except those that keep him in Washington, whoring for his personal welfare. The Democrats have just bought and paid for years for partying and living the good life with the stimulus packages. If you do not think you are paying for it, you had better wake up. California is a prime example of whores in politics and Schwarzenegger is the biggest whore of all. The lying commercials are coming hot and heavy in California. They ask us to vote yes and we can control the politicians. That is a bunch of Bull Shit. They will find ways to change the bills to be whatever they want them to be. Cutting spending or capping spending is not on their agenda. Take note, the only people that want these bills to pass are the groups that get the MONEY. They are throwing a lot of BS SCARE TACTICS at us trying to scare us in to voting for the measures. Do they ever cut taxes? Will they ever cut taxes? Vote yes for these new taxes and you will pay for all of these blood suckers for the rest of your life or at least until the company you work for is driven out of California. However, I do understand, that if you are one of the people who do not pay taxes, you probably do not give a dam. What the hell, who cares if they raise taxes. You will never bother to care until you have been driven from the welfare lines to the soup lines In fact if you really want a job for life, get hired by one of the groups that actually pay someone to pour the soup. They are going to be in great demand.

Rhetoric Schmetoric

I once tried to improve my writing by going to a writing work shop. I signed up for the following class. Writing 666 The Devil's work shop. Why are you here? I want to learn how to write. Good, show me your Allusion, Alliteration, Amplification, Anacoluthon, Anadiplosis, and Analogy I do not want to be a magician, I want to write. OK, Show me some Anaphora, Antanagoge, Antimetabole, Antiphrasis, Antithesis, and Apophasis I do not like scrabble, I only want to write. Yes but I need to see something in Aporoia, Aposiopesis, Apostrophe, Appositive, Assonance, and Asendeton Trivia is a game for nerds, I am serious about writing. If you are serious at least demonstrate Catachresis, Chiasmus, Climax, Conduplicatio, Diacope, and Dirimens Copulatio I may be able to do something with Climax and Copulatio, they both sound familiar. Do not be crude, to write you need be able to Distinctio, Enthymeme, Enumeratio, Epanalepsis, Epistrophe, and Epithet But these, whatever they are, are not even in spell check Spell Check? If you want to write your readers must hear Epizeuxis, Eponym, Exemplum, Expletive, Hyperbaton, and Hyperbole I just want to write simple prose without foul language Yes, but to write Prose, even simply, you must Hypophora, Hypotaxis, Litotes, Metabasis, Metanioia,and Metaphor I know metaphor. I'll Metaphor That is to simple, good writing requires Metonymy, Onomatopoeia, Oxymoron, Parallelism, Parataxis, and Personification, Now were getting somewhere. I can Personify an Oxymoron Parallelism and California has taught me about Parataxis Do not be trite. In this class we require Paranthesis, Pleonasm, Polesyndeton, Procatalepsis, Rhetorical Question, and Scesis Onomation Now you are getting trite. You cannot be serious...Scesis Onomation? Your are, of course, joking. Do not get smart with me you little imp. If you want me to help you, come up with some Sententia, Simile, Simploce, Synecdoche, Understatement, and Zeugma I've got a great Understatement for you Good, let me hear it. You can take your class and your rhetoric and go straight back down to hell. sbeatty/april 2009