frustrated male

Today I went shopping at my favorite store, "Home Depot".  The Macy's for men.
Tools, lumber, pipes and various other items for a man to dream  about while he shops.

Here's a little information for the women reading this blog.  A man shops different than a woman.  We know what we want when we leave the house. We go directly to the store, walk directly to what we want to buy and we are done.  We do not want to look all over the blasted store to find what we need,

Dreaming about tools and projects is what we do to kill time when the wife expects a project to be worked on.  When we want an item we want it to be where it has always been.

Today's trip was to buy rat poison and bug spray.  No big  deal.  It has always been on the shelf on the north wall of the store.  But today it wasn't there.  They moved it.  They moved my rat poison.  Now you might not think that is a problem,  All you need to do is ask someone.

With a man that will never happen.  When we are lost we will never stop to ask directions.  It's much better to wander around hoping for the best.

As I wandered around hoping for the best I noticed a gigantic picture of the store manager hanging high up on the front wall.  There "she" was in all her glory with a great big smile and a promise to be of service.
Then it dawned on me.  "She" moved my rat poison.  "She" was trying to force me to shop like a women.  "She moved everything so I would have  to hunt all over the store and end up spending more money.  My wife would love it.  She can shop and hunt for hours.  I hate it.  I want in and I want out.

Now we have  women messing in the last place where men can go to hide.  I know what's coming next.  They will tag me when I walk in and when my wife calls looking for me, the lady clerk will say "yes ma'am, he's on aisle 9. Yes ma'am,  I'll have him pick up some milk on the way home.

I did find a skill saw and power drill on sale.  I got a great deal.


Greta said...

Such a tough life you live!

Another blog I follow was about Home Depot today. Check it out at

kenju said...

Greta sent me, and you have just described what I don't like about grocery stores. Just about the time I have memorized where things are, they move them. Grrrr.

kenju said...

Thanks for the visit. Apparently, we think alike, which is good!

Mary333 said...

Funny post! I had to go to Home Depot today, too [my least favorite store in the entire universe]. Grrrr! My husband loves it though. When he was young he worked there.

rebecca said...

HA! I hate to break it to you but but I have one of you at home who looooveeesss to spend hours in a store. He's not an in and out kinda guy. It drives me insane! But, I do agree with you that men and women's shopping habits are completely different.

This was post was very entertaining.

b said...

This story really made me laugh! My son always says "Don't mess with my world." He is 45 and I am still a problem. Sigh!


About Me

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So Cal, United States
I am an apprentice writer of short stories and I also attempt a little poetry.