My Crappy Neighbor

OK, here it is, the crappy neighbor story. I guess everyone has a crappy neighbor or maybe if you are really unlucky, more than one crappy neighbor. What constitutes a crappy neighbor? There are a lot of ways to qualify as a crappy neighbor. My neighbor qualifies by being a yard slob. Do not get me wrong. I am one of the leaders in believing a man's or woman's home is his or her castle. My neighbors have to go a long way to upset me. In my case the neighbor is a him. He is the world's leading conservative on saving water. He never waters his yard. It is a show case for dried weeds. Also, he has an orange tree planted in his front yard right next to the property line and he never picks the damned oranges. The funny things is that I really can put up with the dried weeds and the mildewed rotten oranges. I have a bigger gripe to air. It's oil. No, he doesn't have and oil derrick in his yard. He has an oil leaking piece of junk parked on the street in front of his house. Or rather I should say that some lady living there has the oil leaking piece of crap It seems like every time I go into my front yard I see her putting oil in the lousy thing. I do not believe it even stops in the engine. I've wondered if someone forgot to put the drain plug back in. The car is dirty and has several major dents in it. Maintenance and cleanliness is obviously not part of her daily routine. I shudder to think what a pig sty her living space must be. The car looks like it could be in red neck video. You know, the ones that are so popular to email to all your friends. I know every one cannot afford an expensive top of the line car, but damn, do not drain your oil in the street. They fine people for putting it in the garbage and here she is draining it on the street. I have noticed that when she parks the car in the driveway (street sweeping day) somehow there is a big pieces of cardboard under the car to catch the oil. And wouldn't you know it, the ugly old oily cardboard just lays in front of the house day after day. After several weeks of draining the oil on the street it is now creeping towards my house. Every time she moves the car the rear tires pick up the oil and track it further down the street. It is getting closer and closer to my driveway. It will not be long before my car starts tracking it into my driveway and then everyone will think I am a redneck. Actually in some cases I am a redneck. However, I am not a redneck when it comes to how my home looks. Well I decided to complain to the city. Of course you know what happens then. They have to investigate. Then they send a letter. Then? Well I really don't know what happens next. In the mean time the oil creeps closer and closer.


June said...

After the city's letter, there's probably a certain amount of time for her to remedy the situation, and if she doesn't they'll take her to court. The result there depends on the judge's disposition.
In my state the Department of Environmental Conservation would be all over your crappy neighbor. She's creating her own little brownfield.

Once the stuff hits your property you will be an aggrieved party and you can sue her for damages.

Good luck with that.

Maybe she's trying to mitigate it by letting the oranges go natural.

Jeeves said...

Opps...these neighbours

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So Cal, United States
I am an apprentice writer of short stories and I also attempt a little poetry.