My Crappy Neighbor

OK, here it is, the crappy neighbor story. I guess everyone has a crappy neighbor or maybe if you are really unlucky, more than one crappy neighbor. What constitutes a crappy neighbor? There are a lot of ways to qualify as a crappy neighbor. My neighbor qualifies by being a yard slob. Do not get me wrong. I am one of the leaders in believing a man's or woman's home is his or her castle. My neighbors have to go a long way to upset me. In my case the neighbor is a him. He is the world's leading conservative on saving water. He never waters his yard. It is a show case for dried weeds. Also, he has an orange tree planted in his front yard right next to the property line and he never picks the damned oranges. The funny things is that I really can put up with the dried weeds and the mildewed rotten oranges. I have a bigger gripe to air. It's oil. No, he doesn't have and oil derrick in his yard. He has an oil leaking piece of junk parked on the street in front of his house. Or rather I should say that some lady living there has the oil leaking piece of crap It seems like every time I go into my front yard I see her putting oil in the lousy thing. I do not believe it even stops in the engine. I've wondered if someone forgot to put the drain plug back in. The car is dirty and has several major dents in it. Maintenance and cleanliness is obviously not part of her daily routine. I shudder to think what a pig sty her living space must be. The car looks like it could be in red neck video. You know, the ones that are so popular to email to all your friends. I know every one cannot afford an expensive top of the line car, but damn, do not drain your oil in the street. They fine people for putting it in the garbage and here she is draining it on the street. I have noticed that when she parks the car in the driveway (street sweeping day) somehow there is a big pieces of cardboard under the car to catch the oil. And wouldn't you know it, the ugly old oily cardboard just lays in front of the house day after day. After several weeks of draining the oil on the street it is now creeping towards my house. Every time she moves the car the rear tires pick up the oil and track it further down the street. It is getting closer and closer to my driveway. It will not be long before my car starts tracking it into my driveway and then everyone will think I am a redneck. Actually in some cases I am a redneck. However, I am not a redneck when it comes to how my home looks. Well I decided to complain to the city. Of course you know what happens then. They have to investigate. Then they send a letter. Then? Well I really don't know what happens next. In the mean time the oil creeps closer and closer.

I'm Cute

How about that for a title. However I really I do not think I am cute. I do not think I'm good looking. I think I am just plain looking. I'm not easy to look at and I am not hard to look at. I guess you could say that I'm just an ordinary looking male. However, I had a very nice lady tell me that I am cute. Now I have an enlarged head. It is getting very difficult to go through a door. Who would tell me that I am cute? No she is not blind. She does not even wear glasses. Her name is Geisula and she is a German lady visiting my neighbors. There are several people that walk their dogs every morning. We do this as a group. While Geisula was visiting she walked with us every morning. Geisula is in her 40's and very nice looking. I am in my 70's and married. I did not make any advances towards her. We all liked her and treated her as if she was one of the regular group. On her last day visiting, we were talking and I was telling her goodbye and the neighbor told me that Geisula thought I was cute. What a great compliment. Thank you Geisula. If any of you want to know how to make an old man feel good, tell him he is cute. Even if he isn't.

CHANGE

I have know about her all of my life but I never tried to meet her until just recently. She has an illusive quality that makes her hard to grasp. I try to catch her but she keeps darting and weaving and eluding me. She is toying with me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot sem to catch her. She Laughs at me. she is always just beyon my reach. She taunts me. I cannot catch her. She says to me, I am here but without a personal effort you cannot catch me. I say to her, If I cannot catch you how can I grow? How can I improve? She replies, I am always here but you must try harder. You must want me beyond all your other worldy posessions. To hold me and feel me you must get rid of your old friend procrastination. You cannot wait until tomorrow. I move with the wind. If you are not quick you will never catch me. I am tomorrow and you remain as yesterday. I will hold out my hand to you but you must take it. You must embrace me. If you falter and let go you will never grow. You will never know me. I am change. I am not as easy as some may think.